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Personal Interest

XXXX-RATED Romantic Mess-ages

by michael Iva
Tuesday, February 14, 2006. 02:53PM

ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION

ASKING FOR A RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE,

BUT THE "LEAST" ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

**********

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

**********

I thought that I could love no other Until, that is, I met your brother.

**********

Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

**********

Of loving beauty you float with grace,

If only you could hide your face.

**********

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot,

This describes everything you are not.

**********

I want to feel your sweet embrace,

But don't take that paper bag off of your face.

**********

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

**********

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife --

Marrying you screwed up my life.

**********

I see your face when I am dreaming,

That's why I always wake up screaming.

**********

My love, you take my breath away --

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

**********

My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe "Go To Hell."

**********

What inspired this amorous rhyme? --

Two parts vodka, one part lime!

**********

WHAT CAN YOU ADD TO THIS LIST?

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Comments

 2 shown
Wednesday, February 22, 2006. 09:01AM by michael Iva
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tom's been writing his ass off, why the fuck haven't you?---(Get busy suckers; is Tom the only great writer in here? Who's next?)
Tuesday, February 21, 2006. 07:37PM by EXIT3A .com
Roses are red, Violets are blue and now these flowers are dead because I love you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, you’re kinda hot but your mom is, too. Roses are red, Violets are blue, no longer do I have erectile dysfunction thanks to you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I live inside my head where there’s no room for you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate the Olympics as much as I love you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, whenever I masturbate I don’t think of you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, if you’re not getting breast implants I want nothing to do with you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, if Cheney can shoot a lawyer then why can’t I have you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hallmark invented this holiday just for you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, you know I’ve got a dog that looks just like you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, and my heart goes thump-thump whenever I hump-hump with you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, but you’re a librarian Libertarian, which is why I lust after you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, don’t tell your mother I slept with you, too. Roses are red, Violets are blue, and Viagra is purple I hope two will do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, if I can’t have you, then neither shall Lou. Bang! Roses are red, Violets are blue, please smack me around like you used to do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, let’s get naked in front of your Dad, and see what he’ll do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I’d rather have sex, but making love will do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, now down on your knees, and do what you do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, and I once slept with your grandma but she didn’t know what to do. Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sweet Polly Purebread was a dog but nothing like you. Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can think of not one more word to say to you.

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